kehidupan duniawi: 2010

oh, aku sayang sangat kat dorang.. my days won't complete without them. bkan nak ckp pe la en.

tp even aku baru kenal dorang, it feels like thousand year we've known each other. dorang paham aku and same goes to me. we're like a family. if one of us make mistakes, yang lain akan tegur.

we're trying give good advices, comments and even critics.

we're helping each other in subjects.

we're enjoying ourselves in our way.

we're sharing our secrets .

we're fuck people that hurt our feelings.

we're protect each other.

we're laughing, crying, and do silly things together.

we're have good relationship with our friends.

we're even sleep, eat, and play together.

thats y we become bestfriends and love each other,

semester 1 in teluk batik. celebrating our friendship.

gamba kat atas tu, sumpah happy gile waktu nih. rase macam nak pegi balik waktu tu.

kite happy kan? but xsangke, rupenyee, lepas hari tu ialah permulaan cabaran dalam persahabatan kite.

ingat kah kawanku?

aku xkesah dgn sape kite nak berkawan kalau kite pandai jage diri. aku xsuke bile berkawan, pendirian kite hilang. rase macam kite bertukar jadi orang lain. y dun u just be yourself ?

banyak kan insiden yang mengoyah kan hubungan kite, tapi aku kesah pe, aku tau kite punye relationship ni KUAT. sampaikan ade orang tny, bile kite punye persahabatan ni nak pecah.
TERKEJUT aku.

apehal nak rosak kan hubungan orang? jeles ke ape ?

rupe2nye, dorang KAGUM dengan persahabatan kite. sbb banyak da geng yg dr sem 1 sume da berpecah kan. xsume bole tahan dalam friendship yang baru nih.
aku PUN KAGUM. aku sndiri xsangke, kita boleh bertahan. YES!

tapi bak kata orang tue gak en, HARI TAK SELALU NYE INDAH, LANGIT TAK SELALUNYE CERAH.
banyak kali kite gadoh. bile kite gaduh, mesti ade orang tanye, kenape ngn kite. tp kite xkn nak bukak aib kwn2 kan, cite ala kadar jela, paling senang, "salah paham" tu je. dah la gaduh kite bkn cm orang lain, kite gaduh jenis senyap. bile terase je, masing2 diam-xbetego-muke masam-xnak amik port punye style. ingt lagi kes laila-muzil. fida-edy, aku ngn dak2 tu, padil-abg. Kite perah otak same2 tuk settlekan masalah2 tu kan. sambil kite perah, mase pon berjalan, mase mgubati pershabatan kite actually..

yang tak paham, nape kite bergaduh tu kadang2 sebabkan perkara sebesar zarah? mmg XPAHAM.
maybe sbb terlalu sayang, smpai takut kehilangan, dan terlalu protective.
all of this thing supposed to be good, but it turns bad . hummhh.. this is life.

what im trying to say here actually is:

SORRY SO MUCH

im not the best friends u guys ever had. im trying, but i still cant. im sorry. i feel terrible. so bad. huhu.

seminggu kot aku xbercakap ngn korang en. aku yang rase tersisih sebenarnyee. bkn ape, aku rase sedeyh, rase cam dilupekan, xdiperlukan. sumpah sedeyh .korang da sebilik kan. aku rumah lain, apetah lagi nak sebilik. korang lak xnk pun jejak kan kaki kat umah aku sbb ade dak yg korg xsuke.. abeh xpk aku. aku pon xsuke sbgian dak umah korg, TAPI aku gagah kan diri g gak umah korg.. korg tanak ke berusaha? korg mmg xnak ke? harap kan aku je ke sane? sedeyh weh. SANGAT. aku bole bace pikiran korg, tp nape xkorang?

aku harapkan korang paham aku. tu jee. hermm.

and right now, this night, i feel something.

~~aku kangen sama kamu berdua.~~

SANGAT3.. dimana korang yang selalu msg aku tny "watpe, katmane, xkua ke, bile nak dtg umah"

dulu slalu kol pagi2 semate2 suh aku bgun awal.

dulu rajin msg2 even da tgh mlm semate2 nak tny bnde simple.

dulu, tetibe je bg msg pasal persahabatan.

dulu, hampir sume bende kite buat kite tau even kite kat umah halaman masing2.

SEKARANG NAPE SUME TU DA KURANG, atau senang cakap, TADE LANGSUNG ?

bile hati ni yang menangis, luka die, hanya tuhan je tahu. sumpah DEEP.

seyes kali ni aku xmenangis, aku just FRUSTRATED. bile aku sedeyh sampai da tak menangis, mmg aku KECEWA TERAMAT LA SANGAT tu. hurm. maybe aku pendam lame sangat, tu yang die BOOST! pecah laa.

tapi, im trying my best to catch up with u guys back, im try-try-try-trying...

nape susah sangat kali ni.

oh Allah, please guide me through this.

i dont want to end this beautiful friendship. no i dont. never! pleasee....

i hope they can understand me, and know how i feel rite now.

disappoinment point has reached it MAXIMUM level. ouchh. take out my heart, put it away. i hate this feeling.

GO ! GO ! GO ! i hate u. arghh. ='(

urm. just wanna tell that im fucking love and missing u guys. it just about how to break a wall called 'EGO' in each of us.. will be later. INSYA'ALLAH..